When the alarm goes off on the first day of school, there won’t be the usual dash out the door. Instead, families will be figuring out plans so that children can tune into classrooms online. For many, this may bring up feelings of fear and dread.
It makes sense. Instead of being in a place outside the home where kids can focus on school, talk and play with their friends, enjoy after-school activities, and learn, home becomes the center. Families may wonder, “What if they get behind?” or “What if they’re missing critical material?”
Encourage holistic development
Emotional and physical safety are important to help children to thrive. Physical safety means that kids’ basic needs are met, including food, water, and shelter. Aside from these basic needs, part of holistic development requires emotional safety. Emotional safety means responding to kids’ feelings without judgement, and helping them to tolerate and calm themselves when big feelings come up. When they make mistakes, meet them with forgiveness. When abrupt and unpredictable changes occur, as has happened over the past year, we switch from learning mode to surviving mode. When they feel sad, frustrated, or angry, tell them that their feelings are important and are valid. Take a deep breath, a break, or a walk together. Provide them with the reassurance and safety they are seeking.
Collaborate with Others
Within the virtual learning environment, kids interact differently. It is important for kids to engage with each other so that they can foster their social development. What do they learn when they play and work together?
- How to share and cooperate with others
- Perspective-taking
- Making friends and handling conflicts
- Managing emotions and regulating themselves
- Problem-solving skills
- Reciprocity in relationships
These social skills are valuable. So what can you do to both encourage learning these skills and be mindful of your family’s health and safety?
Organize a virtual get-together:
If you choose to organize a virtual get-together among your child’s friends, make the activity specific and time-limited. Get a small group of kids together for a game. Games like charades can be fun for kids to play with each other online and require skills like turn-taking, reciprocity, and listening.
If organizing an activity in person:
Follow the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s guidelines to wash your hands regularly and wear a face mask/covering. If you choose to organize activities outdoors, games like Red Light, Yellow Light, Green Light and Simon Says can be great for engaging kids’ developing social skills while also remaining socially distanced. These are games that the family can even play together!
Don’t put too much pressure on kids right now
Their worlds have been turned upside down too. Expecting kids to achieve something outside of their capabilities could impact their sense of self-worth. Meet them where they are, reassure them that they are safe, and help them to feel calm in those hard moments and tolerate the unknowable ahead.
If you have a child (ages 7-9) who you feel is struggling with social skills such as sharing, expressing feelings, understanding others’ feelings, and listening, you may consider Crossroads’ Virtual Social Skills Group, which will begin on September 14th. Please see more information below.
https://crossroadsfamilycounselingcenter.com/our-groups/social-skill-group-children/
Written By: Alice Zic, MPH, MSW, a Supervisee in Social Work, specializes in supporting individuals and families in healing from trauma, ADHD, emotion regulation, depression, anxiety, grief and loss, Autism Spectrum Disorder, and kinship family dynamics. Additionally, Alice enjoys working with and has a special interest in family gap conflict, issues of acculturation, and navigating multicultural identity. She is bilingual in Bosnian/Croatian/Serbian and is conversational in Mandarin Chinese.