We all know how sleep can greatly impact how we feel, but what do we do when our children continue to find ways to avoid going to bed? The National Institute of Health (2012) explains that sleep deprivation in children may cause them to have trouble getting along with peers, mood swings, irritability, difficulties paying attention, decreased grades, and increased stress. Some of the reasons children may avoid going to bed can be a fear of the dark or nightmares, being overly stimulated right before bed, concerns about the next day, or separation anxiety from their caretaker. So what are some ways that we can increase our chances of getting children to bed at a decent time with less of a battle?
- Bedtime Routine: This should be consistent, even on the weekends and summer breaks. A good practice is to begin this an hour or two before an established bedtime to start winding down. Decide on the order of how things will go and be consistent with this each night.
- Give Warnings: Another way to help stick to the routine with less protest is by giving warnings. This may be a verbal warning or consider using a timer for things.
- Be Firm: Children that avoid the bed have become masterminds at diversions and coming up with excuses that keep them awake. Be firm, and consist by calmly guiding them back to bed.
- Check ins and How to Handle the Nighttime Wanderer: This is for children who have a hard time separating from their parents at night and call out your name to have you join them. Make an agreement that you will do a check in in 5-10 minutes or they get “3 call backs.”
- Reward Systems: Set up a reward system if your child is having a hard time staying in their bed, such as sticker charts and marble jars. Let them work up to earning different rewards that are motivating to them.
- Avoid: Electronics before bed, sugary foods, caffeine, or over stimulating activities such as more strenuous exercise.
Difficulties going to sleep tend to be a common issue among children, however, establishing good sleep habits at a young age will help to continue this trend in later years. Carolyn Webster-Stratton, Ph.D. states that 30-40% of children have trouble going to sleep and will engage in behaviors that postpone bedtime. Remember to be consistent, use a routine, and start winding down 1-2 hours before bed. This will not only help the child’s mental health, but also allow for parents to be more rested and mentally healthy as well.
References:
National Institute of Health, (2012), Explore Sleep Depravation and Sleep Deficiency. Retrieved from https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/sdd#
Webster-Stratton, C. (2005). The Incredible Years: A Trouble Shooting Guild for Parents of Children Aged 2-8 Years. Seattle, WA: Incredible Years.
Written by: Michelle Walker is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) in the Commonwealth of VA. She has expertise in working with early childhood, school-aged children, and their families. She focuses on building a trusting relationship with the child and family through a warm and empathetic approach. Michelle believes in the power of play when working with children, as this is their natural language.
