There are few more boring (and often uncomfortable) places to be than a waiting room. The boredom of waiting to be called, and the social discomfort at sharing our conversations with others in close proximity seems to infect us all. In most cases the best we can offer is to either look at our phone while the kids remain bored and restless, or give our kids the phone so they can be entertained. It has been well-documented that technology has decreased human interactions. Our incessant need to constantly check our phones for messages, emails, and texts, combined with social media posting has caused a significant decrease in the quantity and quality of our interpersonal communications. As a result it becomes too easy to just pick up our phones and check for messages.
In the days before smartphones and tablets parents would be forced to bring coloring books, play ‘eye-spy’ etc. to keep children occupied and entertained. But beyond the scope of entertainment and killing time, turning to electronic devices to keep ourselves or our kids entertained can be a missed opportunity to connect with our loved ones through activities and games.
Children from the ages of 8-18 spend an average of seven-and-a-half hours each day interacting with an electronic devices – not including the hour-and-a-half children at these ages text or the time they spend talking on the phone (Kaiser Family Foundation, 2010). A recent study by Bernier et al., (2016) found that a variety of parent interactions with their children can enhance normative brain developments, especially in younger children. Parental interactions help children develop a sense of self (Tronick & Beeghly, 2011), and model various emotional expressions as well as emotional regulation skills (e.g. self-calming and self-control skills NCPFCE (2013).
Activities
Families can engage in everyday learning activities – even with very young children – and help them to develop lifelong motivation, persistence, and a love of learning (Dunst, Bruder, Trivette & Hamby, 2006). In addition, parents can promote successful life transitions and persistence by engaging children in activities such as reading together and sharing exciting conversations about educational topics (McWayne, Fantuzzo, Cohen, & Sekino, 2004). The key point here is reading TOGETHER and making the conversations interactive and relevant versus just giving the child a book to look at/read. Here is a sample of activities that children and parents can engage in:
- Drawing/Coloring/Games – keep a DVD case with paper and crayons inside for drawing, or, alternately, carry a mini black/white board for tic-tac-toe etc.
- Funny Faces – find faces in the room, even if they’re not ‘real’ faces
- Eye-Spy – adjust for age: “I spy with my little eye, something beginning with (letter) (color) (object)
- ‘Roll The Dice’ – carry a small dice and see who can roll the highest number (tip: place it in a small food bag so it doesn’t roll away)
- Read books together
- Styling – style dolls hair together
- Thumb-battles
- ‘I went to the shop and I bought…’(one item, then two, then three…)
- Cards – play card games together such as ‘SNAP’
- Etch–a-Sketch – make pictures together
- And most important….SNACKS!
Some items to have in the car and take into an appointment:
- Small cars (like matchbox cars)
- A small bag, box or large pencil case to keep things in
- Mini balls
- Calculator
- Pipe cleaners
- Playing cards
- Small toys
- Small doll/animal figurines
- Colouring pad & pencils
- Magnadoodle
- Etch-a-sketch
- Books
- Paddle pop sticks
- Clip Board box with pencils & paper
(Modified from www.beafunmum.com)
These activities will provide the child with a positive experience of the appointments’ waiting room and increase their overall experience, thus reducing anxiety of the next time they have to make a visit. In addition, reducing boredom often equates to maintaining good behavior. Children often become restless and disruptive when they are bored and these activities can reduce these incidences. However, these visits require some forward thinking/planning. Arriving at the office waiting room and realizing you have no ideas or tools to entertain the child can leave you and the child with nothing to do – and resorting to the smartphone/tablet solution. Familiarize yourself with the various games, both with and without props that you may take with you.
Parent-Child Relations
The quality time that parents commit to spending with their children has a tremendously positive effect on their relationship. It is widely documented that parents who spend time teaching and nurturing their children strengthen the attachment relationship. Science suggests that attachment with the parent/caregiver at a young age can pave the way for how the child handles interpersonal relations on all levels as they mature, including into adult life. As the child interacts with the parent through play they develop a connection. It is important to note that the ‘performance’ of the child, i.e. whether they are reading, writing or drawing well in the activity, is less important than the attention the parent gives the child in being present with them and not distracted. In addition, it should be noted that these interactions are always a healthy part of the child’s day and parents should try to incorporate this type of time/interaction with the child into every day, and not just while waiting for an appointment. With the busy lifestyles many of us lead this can be extremely challenging. But even 5-10 minutes a day can have a positive impact and strengthen the parent-child bonds.
Dave Edwards is the clinical intern at Crossroads Family Counseling Center in Fairfax, VA. He is a student in the M.A. in Clinical Mental Health Counseling program at Marymount University in Arlington, VA. He will be a full-time therapist at Crossroads from May 2016. He is also a full-time professional soccer coach and has been working with youth for 27 years.
