Crossroads Family Counseling Center

Fairfax, Virginia

Strong Families · Strong Children
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3611 Chain Bridge Road, Suite C
Fairfax, VA 22030

Healthy Self Esteem in your Child

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Healthy Self Esteem in your Child

With August in full swing, the summer is coming to an end – meaning back to school is just around the corner! While you may be ready and eager for your children and teens to go back, it’s important to remember that back to school season is always a big transition for them. The new school year often brings feelings of both excitability and anxiety. We typically think about starting school for the first time or transitioning to a new school to be the biggest adjustment, but simply moving up a grade can also provide anxiety-inducing challenges like the increasing academic demands, getting to know a new teacher, and shifting in friend groups.

How can you help make the transition from summer to school easy and successful for your child? While there are a number of ways, fostering a healthy self-esteem in your child will be the most lasting. Helping your child develop self-esteem will play an important role in their happiness and success in school and in life beyond. A child with a healthy self-esteem is more likely to act independently, take on new tasks and challenges, accept personal responsibility, handle both positive and negative emotions, and be proud of their achievements.

You are the best person to foster self-esteem in your child and it’s not as hard as it sounds!

Here are some suggestions:
Words of encouragement: Children are not mind-readers – they can’t tell when you are feeling good about them so remember to express positive feelings to them! Children do remember these positive statements and will often repeat these statements to themselves. So be generous with your praise. Tell your child that you appreciate their kindness or ability to withstand challenges.

Promote positive self-talk: When we engage in negative self-talk, we are more likely to feel anxious or depressed. Thus, it is important to promote positive self-talk as much as possible. You can do this by being a model to your child and verbalizing your own positive self-talk in front of them.

Reassurance: Create an environment where your child feels comfortable coming to you to express their worries and talk through their challenges. Be an empathic ear validating their fears and concerns and also make sure to reframe their worries and concerns as new, positive opportunities with enthusiasm. If your child ever feels uncertain, reassure him or her that she will be there for emotionally and any other way they might need. Make sure your child feels that coming home and to you is a comfort.

Decision-making: Help your children become more aware of their ability to make decisions. Create a discussion around your child’s decision; with your help, have him or her clarify the problem that requires decision-making by asking questions about how he or she understands and feels about the problem as well as what needs to be changed. Brainstorm the solutions (and the consequences of each solution) with your child and help him or her see that there is usually more than one solution to a problem. After your child has made a decision, come back together at a later time and talk about the results of his or her decision-making.

Written by: Paige Frasso is an intern at Crossroads Family Counseling Center and also provides therapeutic services at Virginia Tech’s Center for Family Services located in Falls Church, VA. She is currently working on completing her Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy at Virginia Tech.

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