Perseverance and finding one’s gifts. Both are equally important to helping a child succeed. Oftentimes a child can find his or her natural talent through perseverance. If they find something they love to do but give up easily and become discouraged they stand the risk of never finding their true talent.
Although discovering a talent is a journey of self-discovery, there are several things that we can do to help our children along the path.
Search for a spark – There is a quote that says “There is no such thing as a child who hates to read; there are only children who have not found the right book.” Likewise with finding a talent or a passion, everyone has one, they just may not have found it yet. You can help by observing your child to see what really excites them. What do they talk about all the time? What is it that gets them excited and gets that sparkle in their eye?
Start small – So as not to overwhelm a child (and yourself) offer them an opportunity to explore a couple of activities. If they don’t like it, they can always try something else. But by offering less choices, it allows them to focus on trying out one new thing at a time.
Give it time – It’s never easy to be the beginner and the first time anyone picks up a violin they won’t sound like a concert violinist but encourage them to stick with it. Once they begin to see progress in whatever activity they have chosen, it will become more fun for them, they will want to do it more, and become better at it sooner. Until this positive feedback loop takes over though, they may need some encouragement to be patient with themselves.
Try again – Interests can wax and wane. Your children may be passionate about art for a while and then just want a break to do something more physical. You can always set aside the paints and brushes for a while. Children’s minds are incredibly malleable and it may be that they are just taking a break while they absorb all the new knowledge they acquired. Often they will return to the activity after a break with renewed enthusiasm.
Know when to move on – Sometimes you buy the ballet leotard, take them to the lessons and offer all the encouragement in the world but after a while it may become obvious that your little one was not destined for the dance studio. This is OK. They now have a clearer idea of what they do not want to do. Elimination is a valuable step in this journey.
Nurture the flame – Once your child has found that special something that moves them, offer lots of praise and encouragement. Expose them to others who have found the same passion. If they love music, play the master composers for them, if they love to swim like a minnow, talk to them about a great Olympic swimmer and if they love to dance show them videos of dance competitions or shows. If you can give them the wings, they will learn to fly.
I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes about finding your gift:
Everybody is a genius but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it’s stupid.
– Albert Einstein
Written by: Cecilia Racine, LCSW, iis a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) in the State of Virginia with 17 years experience working with children, adolescents, adults and families. Cecilia’s areas of focus include: attachment, adoption, grief and loss, anxiety, domestic violence and trauma work. She is trained in solution-focused therapy, CBT and EMDR and is fluent in Spanish.
