This election season was a particularly divisive one for our country. The airwaves, Internet, and media outlets were filled with political attacks against one candidate or another and their supporters. Adults were not the only ones listening, reading, and watching. Our children were, too, and if many adults have been feeling anxious and having a hard time sleeping these last months, just think what our children must be feeling as they’ve been watching us. While the election is over, children around the nation are feeling the effects of this election season. Many children are struggling with how to manage the confusing feelings they are experiencing and understanding their parents’ feelings.
What can you do as a parent of a child to help her feel safe and cared for during these times?
Here are five suggestions:
- Safety First: Children need to feel a sense of safety and security. Keep your routines, let them know that you are there to take care of them and that there are mechanisms in place for our government to protect us. While no one can fully guarantee anyone’s safety, we as parents must reassure our children that we will protect them to our fullest capability.
- Censor the Media Around Your Home and Car: When children are overloaded with the media or hear comments they don’t understand, they don’t know how to process it. This is especially true for elementary-age and younger children because they don’t have the cognitive ability to process their feelings and know that everything will be okay.
- Show Respect for Authority by Modeling It: Even if you don’t agree with the electoral outcome, we want our children to learn that they have to respect who is in charge. You don’t have to agree with them, but you do have to respect them. Role modeling respect goes a long way. According to The Center for Parenting Education, social scientists have shown that much of learning that occurs during childhood is acquired through observation and imitation. For most children, the most important role models are parents and caregivers who have a regular presence in their lives.
- Model Open-Mindedness. Role modeling to your children that you support our leaders teaches that you are flexible and open to change. If you want your child to be open-minded, you should be careful about what you say and the way you act. You want your kids to know that if someone does things in a different way, it doesn’t mean he or she is wrong and should be criticized. Difference isn’t bad—difference is what makes the world go round.
- Teach Tolerance: According to Kerby T. Alvy, founder and executive director of the California-based Center for the Improvement of Child Caring, parents inadvertently can teach intolerance to their children: “Parents, in their own behavior–especially facial expressions and posture and body language—convey a lot that kids see. Other times, it can be more obvious, when parents actually talk about their biases out loud. Parents may tell children they don’t want them associating with a certain group of people. For some, prejudice can be a family value.”
Doing all of these things will help your child know that they are safe and secure in their home, schools, and community. It will also help instill in children the values of respect for authority, open-mindedness, and tolerance. These are values we can all agree upon and they are the values that our country is based upon.
Written by: Sheri Mitschelen, LCSW, RPT/S and Martha FitzSimon, BA, MA.
Martha FitzSimon is an intern at Crossroads Family Counseling Center, LLC. She is in her final year of George Mason University’s Master of Social Work program with a concentration in clinical practice. Martha also has a BA in English and an MA in journalism from the University of Texas at Austin. She holds a certificate in photography from the International Center of Photography.